Guilt burns inside me
but I keep swallowing
the acid to make
up for grievances
long past forgotten
by others.
I know I need the wood
to warm up
the desolation around me
but I just can’t
drop this cross.
Tag: introspective
Hope and Purpose
As the year wanes towards the New Year, we seek resolutions to work towards in the coming days. I don’t know about you, but I have yet to carry through a single resolution since I remember making my first one back when I was fourteen or fifteen. Still, these resolutions give us a sense of purpose and determination, however fleeting, as we return to activities long since dropped since March or April of the year before. In this sense, we find some renewal. Some hope.
As an educator, I am afforded two weeks at Christmas as a “vacation”. I use quotations because anyone who has worked or is working in education knows that we only dream of vacations when we’re really attending professional development, pinning lesson ideas, wondering how our students are doing, or just generally curled up in a ball binge watching our favorite shows while we anxiously obsess over all the things we know we should be doing to prepare for students to return but find little will to actually do it. Maybe that last part is just me, though.
The truth of the matter is celebrating Christmas is hard. With all the good cheer floating like snowflakes through the air, the loss of my dearest loved ones fills me with a chill. It’s hard to let the season fill me when the absence feels so deep. Sometimes crying can break the ice, so that other emotions can fill up the well in our souls. My tears just won’t fall. With this in mind and knowing I can’t let my heart freeze, I’m going to looking forward. I’m will break the ice with hope and purpose.
Carrie’s Top 5 Determinations for Hope and Purpose in 2017:
- Blog at least twice a week: You can dust off and brush up something you’ve written before, but be sure you are actively writing.
- Keep track of at least one happy moment during the week with a “Ray of Sunshine Jar”. Open it up and read a few if you need a little sunshine in your life!
- Be healthy enough to wear the sailboat dress that Mom always wanted to wear
- Tell someone you love them – every day. You never know when it will be their last time to hear it or your last time to say it.
- Read, read, read! Seriously. You’re an English teacher. It’s kind of in the job description, anyways.
Unbound 